Ah, controversy. It’s the spice of life isn’t it? Now I admit that I enjoy spicy food immensely but I’m not so sure that I like a spicy life. In this particular case it gave me indigestion. So, while chug-a-lugging Pepto-Bismol, I hit the delete button and sent a recent post into the cyber trash can. Gone. Bye-bye. <sigh>
Do I feel better? Not really. Despite the support of my family and several readers, I caved. I didn’t hold true to myself or the whole reason I started this blog. It’s to confess the struggles of an adult amateur dressage rider. (Uh, that would be me.) Anything from mental monsters to pervasive thoughts within our society. Instead of confessing I censored myself. Very un-American.
Today, I received Jane Savoie’s newsletter and felt justified. I was struggling with something that even an Olympic coach and dressage rider considered important. Granted she specifically addresses the communication between horse and rider but I think we can all see how it holds true for other areas of our life.
In order to avoid stirring the pot further I’ll let Jane and Moshi speak for me. Make of it what you will.
Motivation from Moshi with a side dish of inspiration from Indy
Jane Savoie’s newsletter, 2/23/10
From Moshi
I often hear Jane talking to people in sounds that I don’t understand. I may not be clear on the distinctions of her human words, but I can hear and feel the meaning behind them.
She has suggested that people eliminate the word “not” from their vocabulary because there’s no picture in the mind for the word “Not”. None of us can picture “not”! Since I process the world in mental pictures, the word “not” creates mind pictures that are just the opposite of what the person really wants.
Saying, “Don’t shy.” tells me there’s danger ahead, and I SHOULD shy to keep us safe.
Jane speaks to me in positive words, whose meaning creates the picture in her mind and my mind of what she DOES want. That, I can understand!
How do you speak to your horse, and to yourself? Train yourself to always speak and think in what you DO want, not in words describing what you don’t want.
Let’s go riding!
Love, Moshi
Confessions of a Struggling Dressage Rider 
14 comments
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February 23, 2010 at 8:46 pm
camdenstables
Thanks for the post. I always am trying to convince my riders that no, don’t, stop, and quit are not good horse commands. Getting the horse to positively do something instead of trying to stop the human preceived negative activity is much more productive.
February 23, 2010 at 9:02 pm
dressage rider
Thanks! It’s more productive between humans too. Oops! There I go stirring that pot.
February 23, 2010 at 11:30 pm
theliteraryhorse
Those are my fear words: not, quit, stop, can’t, won’t…could go on for awhile. Underneath it, fear. Fear the horse will freak, I will freak, I will look stupid, I will BE stupid, not not not.
I read in a dog training manual that you don’t teach a dog to stop a bad behavior (like jumping on people) by saying NO! Instead, you say “sit”. The dog sits, gets rewarded, no bad behavior. Mentally switching out NO for “do instead” is a difficult concept for me to stay with. Works like a charm with the dog, with a horse (when I remember!), and occasionally with my run away brain. 🙂
February 24, 2010 at 12:33 am
dressage rider
It works with children too. Instead of NO! which becomes their favorite word you just redirect them. Then everyone’s happy.
There’s no way to remove “DON’T” from our vocabulary but there are more construct things to say. Instead of telling a golfer “DON’T put it in the water!” we should say “Put it down the fairway.” The fear already exists (failure, looking stupid, etc.) and then we focus on it. Splash! Ball’s in the water.
February 24, 2010 at 5:54 am
tangodressage
I still love the post! The comments are great too! Glad you got the needed reenforcement- I love your posts! Keep ’em coming!
February 24, 2010 at 5:30 pm
dressage rider
Thanks Tango! Totally unbiased opinions rock.
February 24, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Molly
well hang in there! Moshi gives good advise for people and horses alike. Positive solutions are always best. I hope you find a way to get to yes!
February 24, 2010 at 5:31 pm
dressage rider
Jane’s dog, Indy, has some wonderful insights too. Thanks Molly!
February 24, 2010 at 10:07 pm
Baroque Lady
Glad you opened this back up! It took courage. My teacher is always telling me that I must be clear in what I will accept starting with the warm up : ‘THIS is the walk I want ‘ etc… and not settle for anything less.
Yep…works for kids too. Instead of telling my toddler son ‘don’t touch the
Christmas Tree!’, I said “Here, touch it NICE like this”. And he did. But
then he was always easy…in Grad school now…miss him. (big sigh)
February 25, 2010 at 12:59 am
dressage rider
Thanks Baroque Lady! I appreciate it. I enjoy your emails a lot. You should consider starting your own blog.
February 25, 2010 at 5:36 pm
camdenstables
One of my student’s mother is a high school teacher. She took the thoughts and used them when the students were restless- she made them move. They were soon positively active or quiet.
February 25, 2010 at 6:36 pm
dressage rider
That’s wonderful! Based on your beliefs in the first comment? I really do believe in redirection. Making them move reminds me off horses at the mounting block that move away. Keep them circling and working until they learn to stand quietly.
February 26, 2010 at 1:19 am
camdenstables
That is how I have “fixed” almost every horse. Movement is key to survival for a horse-food,safety and socialization. When taught to move with humans they feel so much more secure and do not want to leave. Bucking, rearing, shying are often lack of engaged forward movement. Unless it is a soreness issue, which may have arose from poor movement, horses respond very positively to the circle the mounting block routine. Thanks again for your post that made me feel a little more connected with people who do not think these methods are crazy.
February 26, 2010 at 1:26 am
dressage rider
Thank you for showing me that I’m NOT crazy. I was starting to wonder. Please submit a post to this month’s Carnival of the Horse. You’ll see that post just above this one.