Ha, breathing! Totally overrated. I mean who needs it? Not me, nuh-uh. I seem to be doing perfectly fine with my current not-really-breathing style of dressage.

You see, the horse and I have a deal all worked out. The stronger the horse gets, the less I breathe. It’s a total win-win situation. The only drawback is that I eventually resemble a blueberry. You remember Violet in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, right? That’s me. A big, old blueberry. But the payoffs make it all so worthwhile!

Oh, I’m sorry. You want to know what the payoffs are? Ineffective aids of course! You don’t listen to blueberries. You eat them!

Huh, we’ve both become prey.

Maybe, just maybe, I need to rethink our agreement.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Yeah, easier said then done.

I know! I’ll smile.
Smile.
Smile.
Smile.
Hmm, that helped. A poker face does not equal relaxation.

Let’s slow it down to a walk. I want to influence the outside hind leg and as it leaves the ground apply my half-halt. So… um, how do I do that? I have to feel it. The right time at a walk is when my outside hip moves forward.
Now.
Now.
Now.
Hey, it’s working. I’m relaxed and breathing. The horse is listening and submitting.

Wait! I’m losing it again. Don’t think about breathing, think about the outside hind leg. Now throw in a nice square halt. YES!

It’s obvious that my mind needs to stay busy or I’ll revert to being a blueberry again. Speaking of blueberries, I have a sudden craving for blueberry pancakes! Yum.

Mmm, want some?

Advertisements