The last few weeks have been absolutely crazy. My sister and niece spent a week here for medical tests and appointments. We were hit by yet another snow storm and work has been…well, topsy turvy, as we try to lure customers in and convince them to part with their hard earned cash. To sum things up my disposition has been rather, um, tense and I’m definitely suffering from a bad case of the winter blues. Sigh.

Oh, and menopause. I can’t forget that. Total hormonal upheaval.

Of course, my last dressage lesson reflected my current state of mind – Whirling Dervish. Sigh.

I asked for a turn on the haunches, I got a reining spin.

Why? Well, unlike the dervish I hadn’t emptied myself of all distracting thoughts. Ha! Not even close.
Nor had I placed myself in a trance. Mental and physical exhaustion? Check. Trance? Uh, no.

I was just way too tense. My leg asked the horse to move over and then refused to stop! It was clamped onto the horse’s side and nothing short of a crow bar would have separated us. One step! All I wanted was one lousy step. Followed, of course, by one more step. Each one taken slowly, with quality and balance. I finally achieved it but only after I had regrouped. I totally removed my legs and took several deep breaths. Uh, from the horse’s side not from my body. The legs that is.

So, where does this leave me? Facing reality yet again. Illness, Mother Nature and the state of our economy are all beyond my control. That leaves me with my own thoughts and body. I can at least attempt to control them. Maybe.

“If I don’t work a little bit on my body control, then I cannot control the horse. First of all I have to control myself before I can control him. If you are not in balance, then you cannot ride because then you disturb the movement of the horse. You have to be always in his rhythm.” –Jean Bemelmans

Let’s begin.
Ahem, legs? Relax. Please, please, please, just relax and allow me to sit on this horse.
Ah, there. Right there. Look! She’s submitting to the bit.
Mind? Nothing exists but this moment and this ride.
Ah, that’s nice. Peaceful, quiet, sigh.

I’m feeling sleepy, really sleepy. I better dismount before I fall off.