The barn door creaks open. Slowly, ever so slowly, I exhale as we step outside. My breath hangs in the cold night air like cobwebs. The only sounds are the crunch of snow beneath our feet and our breathing. As we cautiously approach the indoor, I call out, “Door, door!”  — and suddenly, a horse takes off like the Hounds of Hell are nipping at it’s heels.

The evening has transformed me into a shadowy figure that stalks women, children and — um, horses? Please, allow me to introduce myself.

“Good evening,” I purr in a familiar accent. “I am…Spook-ula. I bid you welcome.”

I mount my horse and trot away in a deceptive move to appear human, er, normal. You are mesmerized by my dressage skills as I perform one good transition after another. I have you entirely under my power now and you’ll believe anything I say. Let’s try shall we? “I am riding on my left diagonal.” Correct? Ha! Of course not. As usual I’m on the wrong diagonal. Gosh darn left diagonal. Ahem, “You will look away and not remember this.”

My horse seems to be immune to my mesmerizing powers. As I cue for the canter, she skitters across the indoor trying to escape the blood thirsty fiend upon her back — uh, me. Her attempt is foiled by my good seat and use of the one rein stop. Next time, I will ask more gently and not accidentally tickle you with the whip. I hope.

It’s been a spook-tacular evening.
Mwah, ha, ha, ha!