I’m going to throw up.
I’ve been dawdling this morning. Delaying the inevitable departure for my lesson. There’s a substitute instructor and I’m not sure how I feel about her. Wait. Yes, I do…I’m going to throw up.
Deep breath. You can do this! Oh, God.
A glance into the indoor confirms my suspicions. It is HER! (gulp)
I’ve watched this instructor and she pushes her students. Enika’s loud and comes off as slightly abrasive. If she asks you to do something, she wants you to do it. NOW! (Okay, so does my instructor but she’s, I don’t know…nicer.) The problem is that she knows her stuff. I mean really knows her stuff. She studied at Meredith Manor and rode with the Wonderful World of Horses performing airs above the ground with the Royal Lippizan Stallions. Our interaction has been pretty much limited to my practice rides. On those nights she’s usually teaching while I “practice”. I’ve watched her and then been thankful that she’s not my instructor as yet another student eats dirt.
That changes today.
I get Enika’s attention and announce that I’m her 10 o’clock lesson.
“Great! I’ve been waiting to get my hands on you!” Oh, God. “I’ve wanted to help you and it’s been so hard not to. I’ve seen improvements in your riding too.” Really?
I’m asked to get the horse that’s hardest for me to pull together. Okay, that would be Buttons. She’s stiff and being her marish self fights me for about 20 minutes before deciding it’s easier to come down into my hands.
Let the torture session begin.
I really need to get her forward. Without the forward I can’t get rhythm and contact. Then we worked on straightness and suppling. All horses are naturally crooked and to ride in balance we need to straighten them. Today Buttons was stiff on the left. Especially the left hind. I utilized the whole ring to work on suppling her by counter flexing her to the right. Of course this made her look at the scary stall cleaner and spook. Again. And again. Finally the door was closed. As part of this exercise I had to tell her where I was feeling resistance and make adjustments. One moment it was the front right shoulder, then the hind. Buttons tried some evasive maneuvers like cantering but we rode through it. Eventually, Buttons was on the bit. Then I had to keep her from falling behind it.
Not bad so far.
Enika said I had the trot nailed so it was time to canter. (gulp)
The commands are flying out of Enika’s mouth faster then I can process them. I asked for a canter around the ring. Not what I usually do. I usually canter on a 20 meter torture circle. The canter was flat. She was hollowed backed. That’s okay though. I’m warming up. Next attempt kinda the same but worse. Clinging leg. I have to slap her with my leg and not cling! (I know. I know. Breathing legs.) Flying down the long side. Wait. Is this a canter? Feels like a gallop. Not that I’ve ever galloped. Have I?
Now to apply the same stuff I did at trot to the canter. I need to flex her head to the right. Give with the inside left rein and make her stand up on the left shoulder to straighten her. Forward! Almost had it.
I feel pretty good. I overcame a number of things. My fear of Enika and cantering out of control. If my instructor goes to Florida this winter maybe I’ll ride with Enika.
Oh, God! I am a glutton for punishment.
Confessions of a Struggling Dressage Rider 
10 comments
Comments feed for this article
November 8, 2009 at 7:09 pm
onthebit
hahaha…they say that systematic desensitization is the best way to conquer fears. If you don’t ride with Enika when your trainer is away is there someone else who could teach you? If not I don’t think you have a choice? I am lucky to have 2 trainers all the time so when one has a baby I still have someone I know and like to work with. And when the other goes to Florida herself I can switch back to the other one. As long as you learned from the lesson and want to keep riding I would call the lesson a total success.
November 8, 2009 at 7:47 pm
dressage rider
Enika usually covers but not the Saturday schedule. Another instructor has done that. I almost never cancel lessons but I’m afraid of regressing. I think it was a success too!
November 10, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Molly
Haha I know the feeling of the clinging leg at the canter. My trainer was describing part of the problem with the tenseness of my shoulders and how I was slowly rising out of the saddle because of stiffness and griping to keep myself in place. I thought it was a good description of how I feel!
You must be satisfied with how well you handled coming out of your comfort zone though, congrats!
November 10, 2009 at 6:41 pm
dressage rider
Thanks Molly, I feel better now that I did it. That clinging leg thing is funny, huh? I can actually think about relaxing my thigh and I swear my leg drops 2-3 inches. At least I kept my stirrups the whole time! I need to remember to open my hips, relax all over (but not rag doll), breathe, flex to the outside, give with the inside…OMG! Calgon! Take me away!
November 10, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Lisa
Ive seen enika teach your a better person than me i would have canceled. Buy the way i had a good time with p & h.
November 10, 2009 at 8:32 pm
dressage rider
Lisa, I never cancel a lesson. Well, almost never. Say hi for me.
November 10, 2009 at 10:23 pm
theliteraryhorse
You’re a brave woman. A demanding instructor and your most difficult horse! Good for you, giving it a go.
I don’t know this instructor…I do know what it’s like to have an instructor so far ahead of me that we barely speak the same language, and she wants me to learn it NOW, be fluent NOW. 🙂
My rule of thumb: as long as the instructor does not attack me as a person (my riding is fair game), or throw anything at me while I’m on the horse, I’m okay. (not joking, this has happened)
But…it doesn’t do me a dang bit of good to work with someone who intimidates me to the point of not being able to remember a thing I learned. That’s happened to me also. Not instructor’s fault, but hey, it was a waste of money. Better to learn from someone I can retain info from!
November 11, 2009 at 1:15 am
dressage rider
Thanks Jane! She is demanding but she was nice to me in that demanding instructor kinda way. Actually giving me new ways to think about the horse’s body and balance. Then she told me what I already know about myself – I over think things. Sometimes I feel as though I understand more than I can actually do. I admitted as much to Enika.
When I first started riding I had a sub-instructor that belittled me. In retrospect I think she did it to cover up her own lack of knowledge.
November 11, 2009 at 5:06 am
geekwithahorse
Congratulations! Awesome blog, and kudos to you for taking on a demanding instructor.
November 11, 2009 at 1:44 pm
dressage rider
Welcome and thank you Geek With a Horse! (I’m kinda geeky myself.) Good luck with your draft. He reminds me of one at my barn. Definitely think about driving that Budweiser Clydesdale wannabe.